The Nature of Family Bonds in Um-Helat

Passages from “The Ones Who Stay and Fight”

Here are some specific passages about the only blood relationship in “The Ones Who Stay and Fight,” the relationship between the execuated father and his daughter:

1. “Beside the man’s body crouches a little girl. She’s curly-haired, plump, blind, brown, tall for her age. Normally a boisterous child, she weeps now over her father’s death, and her tears run hot with the injustice of it all.”

This passage shows a strong emotional bond between the daughter and her father. Her weeping indicates deep grief and attachment.

2. “She heard him say, ‘I’m sorry.’ She saw the social workers show the only mercy possible.”

The father’s apology suggests he cared about his daughter’s feelings, even in his final moments.

3. “But she isn’t old enough to have been warned of the consequences of breaking the law, or to understand that her father knew those consequences and accepted them—so to her, what has happened has no purpose or reason.”

This indicates that the father kept his daughter in the dark about the dangers of his actions, possibly to protect her.

4. “‘I’ll get back at you,’ she says between sobs. ‘I’ll make you die the way you made him die.’ This is an unthinkable thing to say. Something is very wrong here.”

The daughter’s reaction is characterized as abnormal in Um-Helat, suggesting that such strong family loyalty and desire for vengeance is seen as problematic.

5. “She believes that the entire city is less important than one man’s selfishness.”

This phrase directly contrasts family loyalty with civic duty, framing the daughter’s attachment to her father as misguided.

6. “Poor child. She is nearly septic with the taint of our world.”

The narrator views the girl’s strong family attachment as a kind of sickness or contamination.

Based on these passages, we can infer:

• Loyalty to family over society is portrayed as a vice in Um-Helat. The daughter’s desire for revenge is described as “unthinkable” and “wrong.”
• Emotional attachment to family, when it supersedes the good of the community, is portrayed negatively. The girl’s grief and anger are seen as symptoms of contamination from our world’s ideas.
• Blood relationships don’t seem to have special status in Um-Helat’s societal structure. The story emphasizes community bonds (like “auntie-hood”) over biological family ties.

The story seems to present a society where loyalty to the community as a whole is valued above individual family bonds. Strong emotional attachments to family members, especially when they conflict with societal norms, are portrayed as dangerous and potentially destabilizing to Um-Helat’s utopian structure.

This portrayal of family relationships serves to highlight the stark differences between Um-Helat’s values and those of our world, where family loyalty is often considered a virtue. It’s a challenging aspect of the story that forces readers to question their own assumptions about the role of family in society.

Family Bonds as Destabilizing in Um-Helat

Family bonds are portrayed as potentially destabilizing in Um-Helat for several interconnected reasons, based on the story’s context:

1. Prioritization of collective over individual: Um-Helat’s society is built on the principle that everyone matters equally. Strong family bonds could lead to prioritizing one’s family members over the broader community, which goes against this foundational value. As the story states: “She believes that the entire city is less important than one man’s selfishness.”

2. Potential for divided loyalties: Family attachments might create conflicting loyalties between an individual’s duty to their family and their duty to society. This is exemplified by the daughter’s reaction: “‘I’ll get back at you,’ she says between sobs. ‘I’ll make you die the way you made him die.‘” Her loyalty to her father overrides her loyalty to Um-Helat’s social order.

3. Transmission of dangerous ideas: The story portrays certain knowledge as a contagion. Close family bonds could facilitate the spread of these “dangerous” ideas within family units, as suggested by the father sharing forbidden information with his daughter: “An uncontaminated citizen of Um-Helat would have asked ‘Why?’ after the initial shock and horror, because they would expect a reason.”

4. Obstacle to societal control: Strong family units might resist societal control and intervention, making it harder for Um-Helat to maintain its utopian standards. The social workers’ ability to eliminate threats could be compromised if families protect their own.

5. Emotional vulnerability: Intense familial emotions are seen as a weakness that can be exploited by dangerous ideas. The daughter’s grief is described as a symptom of contamination: “Poor child. She is nearly septic with the taint of our world.”

6. Contradiction to Um-Helat’s communal parenting: The story mentions that “anyone can earn auntie-hood,” suggesting a more communal approach to child-rearing. Strong nuclear family bonds might undermine this system.

7. Potential for nepotism: In a society striving for perfect equality, family favoritism could introduce unfairness and inequality.

8. Resistance to change: Family units might pass down traditions or viewpoints that conflict with Um-Helat’s evolving social norms, potentially slowing societal progress.

9. Individual over collective identity: Strong family identities might foster a sense of individuality that could challenge Um-Helat’s emphasis on collective identity and harmony.

10. Emotional attachments as liabilities: The story suggests that strong emotional attachments, like those within families, can cloud judgment and lead to irrational behavior that threatens social stability.

In essence, Um-Helat seems to view strong family bonds as a potential threat to its carefully maintained social order. The story presents a society where collective welfare is paramount, and any force that might prioritize individual or small group interests over those of the whole community is seen as destabilizing. This portrayal serves to highlight the extreme measures Um-Helat takes to maintain its utopia, challenging readers to consider the costs of such a society.